my life!!!

Sam weds Darshana

2008-12-12T14:24:00.001-05:00

I still cannot believe that I am getting married. It's scary and exciting and I'm hoping for the best - just like with everything else... Thanks A G... I wish the best for you too... Loves :*

Year 2008...

2008-11-17T23:57:00.002-05:00

As I near the end of one of the most surprisingly eventful, and yet not so eventful year of my life... I can't help but contemplate my life so far... I am a little over a month away from turning 24. I am finally close to actually living the married life... and I must say, it doesn't scare me too much anymore...

So, this year just happened... There was never a point when I felt like I had to blog just because nothing was happening. It started well... good GPA, part-time job at school, nearing Graduation, Wedding date set to Sept. 6th, 2008... and the inevitable move to Washington DC. Instead, life happened, and threw completely off course... and that's putting it lightly...

Singing, which has always been something I needed - almost an identity, but always far behind everything else... suddenly became my life. It gave me amazing highs, and some really low lows.. and yet, it took me on the ride of a lifetime. I've always loved singing, but this was beyond any dream!

So, I've still not graduated, I'm not yet married and I'm definitely NOT moving to DC... and yet I've had an eventful year.... :) ... Call me crazy, but this has been one of the BEST and definitely one of the most memorable years of my life...

PS. I want to thank my SLPF for being with me through all of this, supporting me in my endeavour and leeting me know that you will always be there for me... I owe you too much. I can never repay you, but I hope I can make you as happy as you deserve to be...

PPS. Mama - You know I love you... and you know I owe all of this to you... And I'm glad that you'll always be a part of me... bullying me into doing stuff "for my own good"... :p

PPPS. Idiot... I know I owe you too. But that's all part of being family... You keep giving without expecting... I hope I have been the sister you needed...

PPPPS. Cute little chickpea... sikkiliboo.... evil weevil... I love you :* ... I'm going to miss you so much .... :'( .... Just know that I will always be there for you...with my silly stories (that you love so much)... cute baby songs... and all my kisses and hugs (that seem to irritate you so much.... Get used to it. This is just the beginning... )...

PPPPPS. Acha... Thank you for everything. I know I seem ungrateful. It's just because I'm not used to a father figure in my life. I can live my life knowing that you will take care of Mommy...I hope you know that I am grateful to have you in our lives...

Winter 2008

2008-02-08T10:48:00.000-05:00

This is weird weather, to say the least. It's unexpectedly warm one day, freezing the next, and snowing like crazy (for now)... I LOVE Michigan winters!

I know I've said this time and again, but thanks to the snow (which is a pain only because of the circular driveway), everything looks bright and beautiful again. The landscape looks like sugared candy and the dark skies seem to exude romance...

In spite of anything else I may say, my life's actually going pretty good right now, which worries me because "normal" is always a predecessor to not-so-good. But then again, not-so-good is almost always a predecessor to "great"... so I guess it's true that life is a circle... :p

Today

2007-09-30T23:36:00.001-04:00

Today just happened to be one of those days that just was... I did enough, yet I achieved nothing. I'm not in the mood to take the initiative, though I do feel like preparing and doing the interviewing part of this semester's projects.

It sucks, because I really need to be doing more of the boring stuff right now. This very moment, I am supposed to be studying, and not blogging... Help me God!...

Family...

2008-01-27T16:01:00.000-05:00

You're stuck with them for life... You love them, fight them, ignore them - I miss mine sooo much right now. I hate being alone. Mama, come back soon... :(...

I am

2007-10-29T23:54:00.000-04:00

Here I am... existing in this World - for a reason, I hope... Otherwise, it would be useless wouldn't it? What if my sole purpose in life is to just exist? What if I didn't have a deeper purpose than just that?

Life would be wonderfully easy and hopelessly uninspiring all at once....

Wake-up calls...

2007-10-29T23:50:00.000-04:00

I love them when they're earlier than you need them to be.

Science

2007-10-01T09:44:00.001-04:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071001/ap_on_fe_st/brazil_surrogate_grandmother

I so don't approve!... If you cannot have kids, maybe you're not supposed to. There are so many kids out there that would love more than they would love their own parents if you took them in. STOP being selfish!

Perspective

2007-09-06T15:44:00.000-04:00

If everybody's problems were actually as bad as they seemed to them, the World would be a very sad place. And so, I thank nature for perspective.

In my perspective, when I see somebody else whine about their tragic life, I realize how much luckier I am. I still whine, but I would like to think I am mostly grateful and happy, yet humble enough to admit I am mean. Though, in all honesty, there are very few instances in my life when I've hurt someone while meaning to. I would not be able to live with myself otherwise...

Lucky

2007-09-01T09:39:00.000-04:00

People complain way too much! Everyone has a good life in comparison with someone else's, then why is it that everybody looks at their own life and think they have the worst problems? I used to be one of these "normal" people, until I got a chance to peek at myself for a little bit...

I have been very lucky throughout my life. When I was 6 years old, I fell on my face and people (who cared about me) were devastated. It was crazy - they were discussing my need for drastic treatments and maybe even plastic surgery! The whole fuss was pointless because it really didn't matter to me. I was only a child, not a very good-looking one, and the fall just made me uglier, but I didn't care. At least, I don't think I did (but then again, I do have a short-term memory). The result of this terrible accident was that I didn't need braces when I grew up.

And then, in my early teens, I was fat. There was no other polite way to put it. I was one of the fattest kids I knew. Yet, I was still a kid (a good kid, I hope) - kinda stupid and obviously very childish. A couple years later, I grew tall (to my current height), and I filled out well. If I had remained a skinny kid, I fear to think what I would look like today... (shudder!)

The point of this is that no matter where you are in life right now, something good will come out of it. Trust this stupid kid who learnt everything the hard way :)

Humour...

2007-09-01T09:33:00.000-04:00

Throughout time, everyone has questioned themselves about what might be the most important quality in a friend, partner, family member, etc... And in spite of the large variety of answers ranging from patience to sensitivity and so on, I think the most important quality is a good, decent sense of humour.

A sense of humour says a lot about a person - their temperament, intelligence and their sensitivity to certain issues. In fact, having a good sense of humour is as important as having a soul. Now, this is not to say that people without a sense of humour are the devil's own. It's just that everybody has a sense of humour. They only need to tap into themselves to find it. For example, I have been lucky to grow up with a good-humoured mother, whose sense of humour is intact in spite of life.

Nobody is perfect

2007-09-01T09:32:00.001-04:00

And as long as we can accept that, we can live a better life - for ourselves atleast...

Selfish

2007-08-27T10:26:00.000-04:00

Now selfish is a terribly overlooked word. It's easy to say you should NOT be selfish, but it's primary human nature to be selfish.

As I thought more about this, I realized that what you shouldn't be is overly selfish, to the point where only you matter. For people who are like this, misery is everything. They love being miserable - almost in a perverse way, where they want to be miserable and everyone else must pity them.

And then it hit me - overly selfish people don't take responsibility for anything they do. They'd rather blame somebody else or other elements of their life. So well, I guess all I can do is feel sorry for them and hope that they are happy being miserable.

Weekend!

2007-08-20T12:37:00.000-04:00

The weekend started off on a great note with Olive Garden (great food!...some wine...:p) and a restful night of sleep. Some "cooking", some vegetable cutting started off a blissful Saturday....and then we left on the long trip to the concert.
I must say, for someone who didn't know much at all about Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, I was mightily impressed by what they had to offer and regretted not getting there in time :(... They played a couple of Sam's favorite tunes and I (heavily fed with carbs) was sleepy by the time they wrapped it up. Talk about perfect timing!
Then Sam drove us about ten miles north of Dayton (where Fraze Pavilion is), and we found a place to spend the night. After an uneventful, yet comfortable night, we woke up feeling quite refreshed (I was in a little pain), and then we headed back home. Stopped in the same little town for a heavy brunch, some pain medication for Sam and motion sickness stuff for me, filled the car and started back.
I slept for a little over an hour I think and Sam was tired. I woke up and since I don't like anyone else driving, I took over. The weather took a turn for the worse and it kept raining heavily till we got home. Had a little tiff on the way, but all's well that ends well, right? :p...

And that brings me to today. Right now, I feel terribly uninspired and lethargic... :(

My new slave

2007-08-16T09:50:00.000-04:00

He is the most adorable thing I've seen. And he comes in the cutest package ever! His heart looks like a little baby beating heavily on an African drum... (boom boom boom). His eyes are perfect - like little rosebuds about to bloom.

He's big considering where he lives right now - 5 pounds 5 ounces the doctor said. I simply CANNOT wait to train him! :p

Understanding

2007-08-16T09:43:00.000-04:00

Being understanding is a fickle quality. It is something that all of us are at some point in our lives. But, it's hard to be understanding ALL the time.

It would be so much easier if we all just understood this.

A******s!

2007-08-15T10:28:00.000-04:00

Why do men have to be such bastards sometimes? Is it an inherent trait or just something they can't help? They do everything wrong, and then have the balls to be completely confident and act like they did everything for our own good!

Not all of them are that way. There is always the exception to the rule. And I apologize for stereotyping, but almost all the men in my biological father's family are born bastards! In fact, there is only one person from that family that I like - a lot...

No One

2007-08-14T14:09:00.000-04:00

I write for me and no one else :)

I love the nostalgia of looking back, and seeing that everything wasn't always dreary. I love knowing things about my past that didn't touch me then, as much as they do now. I love getting to know the kind of person I was, and thus am. I love remembering all this silly stuff that means nothing now, but means the world to me in the future... At the same time, I hate all of this.

And I hate me for not being able to accept who I am.

Downtown

2007-08-14T14:12:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, certain songs really do make you feel better. This has been one of them for me...

When you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always go -- Downtown!
When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry seems to help I know -- Downtown!

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city,
Linger 'round the sidewalks where the neon lights are pretty,
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there, you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
And go DOWNTOWN.... Things will be great when you're
DOWNTOWN.... You'll find a place for sure
DOWNTOWN.... Everything's waiting for you...

Patience

2007-08-13T12:18:00.000-04:00

..... is NOT a virtue, unless a virtue can be forced on you!

I do not consider myself patient or virtuous in any sense, but patience has been forced upon me by Nature... Does that make virtuous? I think not and hence, I rest my case... :D

Indeed it is...

2007-08-13T12:02:00.000-04:00

I'm always running into people that are complaining about how "God's" answer to everything they want seems to be "No". And after carefully considering each of their predicaments, I have realized that I have been immensely lucky in my short and insignificant life so far. Everytime, I consider a question about the future, I always find that the answer is a bold and resounding "YES".

Like when I really wanted that one job, I asked the Universe, "Can I really not have that job?". And you know what the answer was. It's always been that way and you know the rest.

I really am content though. I would have been more than just content if I had "that" job, but I'm not unhappy or anything. If I were more philospical, I'd probably be more satisfied knowing that I probably wasn't ready for that job as of yet or some other explanation of how this is actually better for me blah blah blah...

I hope I don't sound ungrateful, because I really am not. I'm just wistful sometimes - about what might have been. But I love my life and I love the predictability of the Universe's answers to all my questions... :)

Why?

2007-08-10T09:59:00.000-04:00

Now, time and again, all humans have questioned themselves - the reason for their existence, etc. If you go back and look in my archived posts, you'll see that I have, too many times to count really.

Well, the thing about this is that you never get bored with it. There are so many new perspectives to this one question, that it is amazing that we still bother to ask ourselves or anybody else... Yet, it is intriguing enough that it does keep one's mind occupied long enough to forget why we were asking ourselves this question in the first place. It may just be another safe escape from life or pain depending on how you look at it...

Forgive me if I make no sense, because I am only human.

Being Healthy...

2007-08-09T11:28:00.000-04:00

Being healthy should be a lifestyle - a way of life. Not a fad!

I don't understand how people expect to stick to "good habits" just because it's in. Good habits are developed over time. We need to keep training ourselves to stick to doing the right thing. It is more than easy to fall into a trap and getting into a bad habit. But with a good habit, it takes patience and perseverance.

Bein healthy could be either a conscious or unconscious decision, but getting there is comparable to scaling Mount Everest. But once you're there, the exhilaration of having reached your goal is incomparable.

My advice to any of you amateurs out there trying to lose weight or have more energy to do more or just feel good about yourself is to start slow and take your time and develop a whole new lifestyle. Make changes that stay...

Concepts...

2007-08-06T12:01:00.000-04:00

The whole entire thing boils down to one concept - Pain...

Pain is a wonderful thing. Without pain, there would be no comparison of what is normal and what is not. Pain is usually good. You learn from pain what nothing else could teach you.

And as much as I may complain and whine about pain, I don't know what I would do without it. Pain is now an integral part of my life. It tells me what to do and when. If I listen closely enough, pain - both emotional and physical, almost always points at what I should do next... If only I did...

2007-07-09T10:45:00.000-04:00

Words cannot even begin to describe how amazed I am by how forward yet backward the human race is... Books have been written almost 2000 years ago, and they hold the key. The key to everything. The key to living successfully and being content.

And here we are today, still miserable, still wondering why - all because we haven't figured out where to look. I guess it really is true that the past is the key to the present and the future...