happy halloween guys!
yes, i saw him today too i even smiled and he smiled back, nodded and said hi...

well i saw him today. i was at the computer when he came...he's positioned himself in a place where i can see a part of him the whole time.....and i've been choosing to sit at this computer only, whenever i come in...
i hope he's interested in me too!
u know what? actually i don't think i'm all that interested in him anymore! good for me!
go girl!

guys.......u won't believe what i did! he walked by and happened to look at me and i smiled a silly little tight smile, and he returned it with a tight smile too. he just left, and as he walked by he almost waved at me and said bye.....pretty softly but i cud make out...
it's almost as if we knew each other!

i was given valuable advice today from my cousin who recently got married...she said to me, " don't get married!"
and since i had already kinda decided that, i told her, i didn't have any plans to!

am i crazy or what?

hello people!
saw him today....he's walking around right now....finished with his student( was an asian guy this time!) just before.

nothing to say today, except that i know he won't be heer but am kinda hoping i see him!lol

hi guys!
i've just posted friday's blogs....the bloger was down on friday u see....and so the delay!
so how r u today?

holy cow!
what do u know....he didn't leave after all he's in the bookstore!!!
i've already circled it twice and now i think i don't seem all that inconspicuos....especially since there is no one else in teh corridor...so i am leaving now....
seriously!

well today i babysat 2 lil devils! i really liked them though and apparently they liked me too!!! they didn't want to leave when their mother came back to take them!lol imagine that!

anyways, i came to college again my stupidity winning over my common sense(if i have any!) and though i told myself it wasn't b'cos of him, we all know the truth don't we?! who am i kidding!
damn me! i don't understand it!!! why am i stalking a poor inncent guy like him?
innocent, my foot! he is so damn aware of my crush and is taking al the bloddy advantage he can get out of it!!!
unhhhhhh......!!!
I HATE HIM!
he's gone.....i almost know that for sure. then why am i waiting???....cos i'm mad?
i guess taht's what u call "hoping against hope!"
well i did see him leave the lab with his bag and the girl, then waht am i doing here? hoping he'll come back???
i'm definitely mad! i'm sure now...
well anyways i'm leaving now.......

u guys won't believe what i did today....i actually tried to donate blood for a good cause!
but then, it didn't work out cos i'm from india....i have to live here for atleast 3 years without travelling back to india before i can be eligible to donate blood!!! u know why? cos india, (esp.andhra pradesh), runs a high risk of malaria!!!
lol

i was wrong....................
clearly, he is'nt!

this is so damn silly!
i don't get it....but now i do know for sure that he is interested too!

hi guys!
today i caught a glimpse of him and i know where he is! HE MAKES MY DAY!
anyways, i've now got a rough schedule made up for the next semester and feel like i've accomplished something! boy, it does really make a difference when u get to choose when u want to do which subject!
i'm going to be real busy next sem. and so will try and make up as much blog material as possible this sem. so u guys will not miss me!!! i'm so cute nah! lol
i've gotto go and try and borrow that bus. law book now...
i think i'll go after a while! i guess i'll surf a lil more now and then find out about the book and head straight home! meanwhile, i hope he looks at me atleast once!!!

i wish he wud come today.....i mean i kinda knew he wudn't come on monday and i know that i'm waiting in vain........
uhhhhhhhh......i really hate having crushes...!!!
well anyway i'll chat for a while and go home...that's it...big deal if he doesn't come!
i wonder if he thinks about me even half as much as i think about him? he cud be married for all i know!!! waaaaahh........

i hate this......i really want to run home and cry u know....it's not b'cos of him but i'm just so damn lonely...i really need someone to talk to.
but wait........what the heck! i can't believe this!!!
HE JUST SAID "HI"!!!

my fave song... by westlife...."IF I LET U GO"

day after day, time passes away,
and i just can't get you off my mind...
nobody knows, i hide it inside,
i keep on searching but i can't find...
the courage to show,
to let you know....
i've never felt so much love before...
and once again i'm thinking about....
taking the easy way out...

but if i let you go, i will never know, what my life would be, holding you close to me.will i ever see you smiling back at me,
how will i know...
if i let you go......

night after night, i hear myself say,
why can't this feeling just fade away...
there's no one like you, u speak to my heart,
it's such a shmae we're worlds apart...
i'm too shy to ask, i'm too proud to lose...
but sooner or later,
i gotta choose,
and once again,i'm thinking anout,
taking the easy way out...

but if i let you go, i will never know,
what my life would be holding you close to me,
will i ever see you smiling back at me...oh yeah...
how will i know?
if i let u go....

no, i seriously mean that...sometimes he just does happen to land up wherever i am.........like when?
well like the other day i didn't expect to see him at college...i was hoping he'd come though...but that's different right?
and then i was sitting outside on the couch and writing seriously about him when he walked by and i didn't even realise it was him till he almost passd me by....

he's in the inside room as usual...don't want to stare too much...i already feel like i'm stalking him!!!
well actually i almost am, i mean he just doesn't "happen" to land up wherever i am..... though sometimes , just sometimes, that happens too!!!
hahaha....

can u believe i just saw another cutie who also seems to be a teacher here???? what's with the world nowadays???
why make idiotic people cute???
why me???????
waaaaaaaahhhhh.......
i really wish i cud cry though....maybe i'll feel better....
oh i didn't tell u about the guy i saw yesterday right?
well i was just sitting in a very unnoticable corner of some stupid corridor in this place, when this guy goes by and does a double-take when he sees me...he was like really tall.....and it must have shocked him to see me suddenly ...well u cud expect it....
i mean if u were walking by u wud have done the same thing....
wel he kept staring and walked off . after a while he walked past me again.....obviously this time in the opposite direction, well anyway he looked at me and i thought i shud smile at him and was just about to when he grinned very sweetly and said something with a comical look on his face!
i don't exactly remember what he said but it seemed funny at the time and i grinned too!
and then i laughed to myself wondering how someone cud just appear out of the blue and cheer me up just when i needed it the most!
well so i kinda leart from experience that god functions in mysterious ways.......lol
needless to say, i kinda have a crush on the guy who's face i definitely won't recognise again.all i know is that he was really tall and was good looking.

i wish he'd show me some kinda sign that he's interested but no, he acts like such a snob! "jerk" might be a better word! well, i can't blame him ,i'm acting like a jerk too u know! i wonder what's happened to the old me!!!
i don't understand why i start acting so stupid when i'm having a huuuuuuuuuge crush on some idiot!!!

uh........he's here again.........i've just come to college waiting for my freind to come online and he just walked in with that irritating irresistible attitude!
I HATE HIM!!!
damn him, he's just so cute!

hey again guys...........i can't believe this is the fourth time i'm blogging today!!!
well that's all i have to say! lol

u know what? maybe i shud constantly have crushes.....cos they seem to be the only thing that encourage me to keep updating my blogs!!! i mean i usually don't have much to say about myself and when i start i know i sound pathetic!!!
well ok....here's to all my crushes......thank u for keeping my spirits up!!!!

damn!
what am i??? i know maybe we cud call me....."reeeeaaalll desperate"???

dammit! i am feeling so very miserable!!! he's in this room , i'm almost sure of it though i can't see him........anyway i do know he is somewhere close....in this building atleast!!!
ok, u know what? i think i'm sounding too despertae but u'll have to bear it cos thats exactly how i feel right now!
damn! i really hate having "CRUSHES"! but then again, i love the sudden rush of mixed emotions......it is kinda torturous but i like it! what am i saying??? i must be crazy!
well anyway, how much longer do u think it'll last..............most probably, knowing me, i'll have a totally new crush to talk about in about a week's time!!! i sure hope so.....i really don't like this guy....he seems like a jerk and that's exactly what puts me off completely!!! but u know what they say about "opposites attracting" and all that bs! of course i don't believe in it, but then again maybe i just wish i dind't believe in it....damn i'm just an embodiment of all the most complicating and miserable emotions in the whole wide world!!!!
why me????????????????????????????????????!!!

stupid guy! i hate him!!!
yeah that's it! i need to find more faults about him......mmm........now let's see....maybe he's too thin?!that lean, amazingly muscular build! maybe he exercises regularly...mmm......
hey! what am i doing? i'm supposed to be finding fault with him and i end up admiring him and trying to work out his daily schedule?!!!
who cares even if he does exercise! not me!
uh huh?

he is such an a******!!! and there's nothing else i can say that will describe him more simply other than.....he is a jerk, a nut,an idiot,and whatever else u may feel like calling him! please yourself!
now what cud this guy's name be? i wonder.........wish i cud get to talking to him sometimes, but i just don't see that happening, not now, not in the future, not ever!
"NEW CRUSH" time again! i know i'm shicking u but hey, nithing wrong in keeping ur options open. right?!?
asians! why is he always talking to one of them? it's like he's interrogating them or something! he seems pretty patient and looks like he's having a good time with them!!!
but why? what do u think he's doing?is he working heer sr studying here??? i really don't understand this! weird!
but then again. everything here seems so weird! why don't i just go home and eat something....it is way past lunch time after all! just don't feel like it? no..........that's not true....i am so hungry i cud eat a horse! (not literally idiot! that's just an idiom!)
maybe i shud just go and try and forget about this guy! i try to think about other guys but right now this one gyu dominates my thinking space! funny, didn't actually think i had one! lol

hey guys!!! its time for a "NEW CRUSH"!!!
call me whatever u like, but a girl's gotta have what a girl's gotta have and in my case it's an unlimited stock of crushes!!!
god! this guy is soooooo cute! not only looks wise but also person wise!!! he actually holds open all the doors and waits for me to go through patiently even if i'm more than 10 feet away!!!
and here i was losing all hope of even a teenyweeny bit of "chivalry" still existing!!! but believe me guys! chivalry does exist!
my my, if only all girls cud find a guy like the one i saw today morning! he was the cutest!!! believe me!!!
and mind u when i say "all girls" i'm included too! lol

that guy drives me nuts!!! why can't he smile at me or atleast nod just to acknowledge my miserable existence if not anything else??? well maybe i'm asking for too much!
OK fine! he's a got a girl! so what???
big deal! maybe i have a guy too! that doesn't mean we cannot talk unless he's unsure of himself! maybe that's what it is! he can't trust himself! that's good right? i mean it should mean that he does have feelings for me! maybe i'm overdoing the "optimism" thing!
well that is a good sign cos all my life as far as i can remember atleast i've been a negative-thinker, throughout being terribly afraid of the fact that the truth might go against me, whatever the situation was!
i hope he goes and looks for mewhere he last saw me and is disappointed not to find me there! i hopehe feels the same way as i do!!!
is that a curse?well, not necessarily! it could be called "WISHFUL THINKING"!!! yeah right!
why can't i just accept the truth? "HE IS NOT INTERESTED IN ME AND NEVER WILL BE"!!!
OUCH! that hurt! not much actually but still.........while i'm at it anyway lemme bitch and cry a lil more! no harm eh???
i mean think about it logically or practically whichever way u like! a guy like him being even remotely attracted to me~!!! well, guess there's nothing wrong in hoping!!!