Selfish

Now selfish is a terribly overlooked word. It's easy to say you should NOT be selfish, but it's primary human nature to be selfish.

As I thought more about this, I realized that what you shouldn't be is overly selfish, to the point where only you matter. For people who are like this, misery is everything. They love being miserable - almost in a perverse way, where they want to be miserable and everyone else must pity them.

And then it hit me - overly selfish people don't take responsibility for anything they do. They'd rather blame somebody else or other elements of their life. So well, I guess all I can do is feel sorry for them and hope that they are happy being miserable.

Weekend!

The weekend started off on a great note with Olive Garden (great food!...some wine...:p) and a restful night of sleep. Some "cooking", some vegetable cutting started off a blissful Saturday....and then we left on the long trip to the concert.
I must say, for someone who didn't know much at all about Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, I was mightily impressed by what they had to offer and regretted not getting there in time :(... They played a couple of Sam's favorite tunes and I (heavily fed with carbs) was sleepy by the time they wrapped it up. Talk about perfect timing!
Then Sam drove us about ten miles north of Dayton (where Fraze Pavilion is), and we found a place to spend the night. After an uneventful, yet comfortable night, we woke up feeling quite refreshed (I was in a little pain), and then we headed back home. Stopped in the same little town for a heavy brunch, some pain medication for Sam and motion sickness stuff for me, filled the car and started back.
I slept for a little over an hour I think and Sam was tired. I woke up and since I don't like anyone else driving, I took over. The weather took a turn for the worse and it kept raining heavily till we got home. Had a little tiff on the way, but all's well that ends well, right? :p...

And that brings me to today. Right now, I feel terribly uninspired and lethargic... :(

My new slave

He is the most adorable thing I've seen. And he comes in the cutest package ever! His heart looks like a little baby beating heavily on an African drum... (boom boom boom). His eyes are perfect - like little rosebuds about to bloom.

He's big considering where he lives right now - 5 pounds 5 ounces the doctor said. I simply CANNOT wait to train him! :p

Understanding

Being understanding is a fickle quality. It is something that all of us are at some point in our lives. But, it's hard to be understanding ALL the time.

It would be so much easier if we all just understood this.

A******s!

Why do men have to be such bastards sometimes? Is it an inherent trait or just something they can't help? They do everything wrong, and then have the balls to be completely confident and act like they did everything for our own good!

Not all of them are that way. There is always the exception to the rule. And I apologize for stereotyping, but almost all the men in my biological father's family are born bastards! In fact, there is only one person from that family that I like - a lot...

Downtown

Sometimes, certain songs really do make you feel better. This has been one of them for me...

When you're alone and life is making you lonely you can always go -- Downtown!
When you've got worries, all the noise and the hurry seems to help I know -- Downtown!

Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city,
Linger 'round the sidewalks where the neon lights are pretty,
How can you lose?

The lights are much brighter there, you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares
And go DOWNTOWN.... Things will be great when you're
DOWNTOWN.... You'll find a place for sure
DOWNTOWN.... Everything's waiting for you...

No One

I write for me and no one else :)

I love the nostalgia of looking back, and seeing that everything wasn't always dreary. I love knowing things about my past that didn't touch me then, as much as they do now. I love getting to know the kind of person I was, and thus am. I love remembering all this silly stuff that means nothing now, but means the world to me in the future... At the same time, I hate all of this.

And I hate me for not being able to accept who I am.

Patience

..... is NOT a virtue, unless a virtue can be forced on you!

I do not consider myself patient or virtuous in any sense, but patience has been forced upon me by Nature... Does that make virtuous? I think not and hence, I rest my case... :D

Indeed it is...

I'm always running into people that are complaining about how "God's" answer to everything they want seems to be "No". And after carefully considering each of their predicaments, I have realized that I have been immensely lucky in my short and insignificant life so far. Everytime, I consider a question about the future, I always find that the answer is a bold and resounding "YES".

Like when I really wanted that one job, I asked the Universe, "Can I really not have that job?". And you know what the answer was. It's always been that way and you know the rest.

I really am content though. I would have been more than just content if I had "that" job, but I'm not unhappy or anything. If I were more philospical, I'd probably be more satisfied knowing that I probably wasn't ready for that job as of yet or some other explanation of how this is actually better for me blah blah blah...

I hope I don't sound ungrateful, because I really am not. I'm just wistful sometimes - about what might have been. But I love my life and I love the predictability of the Universe's answers to all my questions... :)

Why?

Now, time and again, all humans have questioned themselves - the reason for their existence, etc. If you go back and look in my archived posts, you'll see that I have, too many times to count really.

Well, the thing about this is that you never get bored with it. There are so many new perspectives to this one question, that it is amazing that we still bother to ask ourselves or anybody else... Yet, it is intriguing enough that it does keep one's mind occupied long enough to forget why we were asking ourselves this question in the first place. It may just be another safe escape from life or pain depending on how you look at it...

Forgive me if I make no sense, because I am only human.

Being Healthy...

Being healthy should be a lifestyle - a way of life. Not a fad!

I don't understand how people expect to stick to "good habits" just because it's in. Good habits are developed over time. We need to keep training ourselves to stick to doing the right thing. It is more than easy to fall into a trap and getting into a bad habit. But with a good habit, it takes patience and perseverance.

Bein healthy could be either a conscious or unconscious decision, but getting there is comparable to scaling Mount Everest. But once you're there, the exhilaration of having reached your goal is incomparable.

My advice to any of you amateurs out there trying to lose weight or have more energy to do more or just feel good about yourself is to start slow and take your time and develop a whole new lifestyle. Make changes that stay...

Concepts...

The whole entire thing boils down to one concept - Pain...

Pain is a wonderful thing. Without pain, there would be no comparison of what is normal and what is not. Pain is usually good. You learn from pain what nothing else could teach you.

And as much as I may complain and whine about pain, I don't know what I would do without it. Pain is now an integral part of my life. It tells me what to do and when. If I listen closely enough, pain - both emotional and physical, almost always points at what I should do next... If only I did...