Gibberish!

well there is always this and that, but why?

and then like that isn't enough, here comes more...

do i? don't i? will i ever know? it must be one of those stupid things...:)

sigh...

I have no creativity :(...

Anyways, today is one of those cold, but clear days. Why is it I love dark, gloomy days? I am glad I will be inside this building all day until 9pm :)...atleast I don't have to go out into the bright day!

Some people think mind-numbing jobs are depressing. Not me. I'm not one of them, and I'm not the least bit ashamed to state that.
You see life can be really busy if you want it to be. Or, if you're like me, then you probably want it easy. And since my head is so full of "useless" stuff, I need the break - I need to do something that just about anyone can do...
I need to be doing something "physically", so my mind can be pre-occupied. And just the rush of having finished a whole pile of work makes me feel good! :D

I hope he was able to take the test. I hope he eats. I hope he finishes his project before time and is happy with it...I hope he'll come back, sleep and feel much better on the whole...
I wish him the greatest day ever!

More questions...

Why do I like horror movies?

Why am I scared to death of insects?

How have I survived all these years being me???

Is it worth the stress?

Why am I always thinking about myself?

Why can't I be selfless?

Why can't I just believe in "God"?

Why does the concept of not being in control amuse me, scare me and appeal to me all at the same time???

Love

is a funny thing. How you look at people that you've never seen before. Or when you realize that you are in love with someone you thought you couldn't stand. I've realized that if you accept it, it's much easier to move on. Just because you see things differently then. You see that nothing can be done and even though it seems like you were meant to be, life has different plans for you...

He has someone else and so do you...so forget it, be thankful you met him and move on :)...It's quite easy really.

Besides, it's true that everything happens for a reason. The reason might seem non-existent at the time, but trust me when I say you are where you are because that's where you're supposed to be...

Do wishes really come true?

"When you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are,
Anything your heart desires will come...to...you..."

The tune that bugged and yet intrigued me throughout my "childhood"...

I loved it - in that the notes changed so drastically from one to the other...and yet the "little radio" that played it, kept doing it over and over again...

I must admit I probably played it many more times than necessary, but there was a time I found it soothing and even healing in a way...

I still hold onto to the belief that wishing on a star will bring you anything you want...there are always limits though :)

Ego or Id?

It's funny how all my life I've been fighting it, but once I accepted it as an eventuality and finally changed, I actually like it...

This causes my ego serious problems though. I have been fighting it so long, that I want to keep fighting it and insist that it kills me to have to conform [:)]...

weird, huh? The point is, since I'm going to have to do it on a regular basis, might as well start getting used to it early on. It's not that bad, to be honest, but I wish I could have reached a better compromise without having to ignore (and hence hurt) my poor ego. After all, it's what I have kept all through my childhood and it's all I'm going to have as I grow up knowing that there are some things I could have handled differently, but insisting that everything turned out fine just so my ego won't suffer...

If you are really intent on finding it, look around you...and I don't mean just look..."look", "feel", "hear"...everything that's happening around you....and you'll find it...
tune in to your life...stop being a bystander...there's no point not paying attention...

If you find this confusing, you're not ready :)...eventually you will be...

Why?

Why are we the way we are? Who decides how we should be? Is there any other way to be? Or is this it?

Questions we've all pondered at some point of time. Yet we have no answers. And there are some of us that ponder them over and over again, every single day. Will we ever have answers? I don't know. Is that going to stop me from "pondering"?...No...probably not...

I think this can be explained by the fact that we humans are naturally drawn to investigate anything that hasn't been explained yet. And why not? We need something to do to convince ourselves that our existence actually means something. That we are worth more than other beings that just are...

Can we change this? Honestly, I don't know...and if we do, what else can we do to feel useful and important? Again, I don't know...

The future...

What is the world coming to? Why does everyone have this insane desire for power??? The instinct to survive, I understand. Why need anything more than that?

They started it this time too. The mad killings, the bombings, the mass destruction. And the best part is they are so smart that they blamed the "victims" for everything they did. Are they really helping??? Can nobody else see this?

Maybe the "strategy" they shud use is to back off and not keep researching deadlier things than already exist. Then maybe the Rest of the World can rest knowing they are in no immediate danger...

As of now the situation looks very dreary. After years of having built all this distrust agaisn't themselves, nobody will trust them to do anything "nice"...I hope this doesn't mean I won't have children that I can torture to please me...:D

these things happen...

Who could've guessed that what was intended as a truly unselfish gesture could actually harm someone he thought...

As he tried to help an old man cross the street, he tripped over a raised edge on the road and fell, pulling the poor old man with him. The old man ended up only breaking his wrist in what could have been a more serious accident, but he felt horrible about it.

For a year, he blamed himself and decided not to do anymore "nice" things for people and believe himself jinxed... And then it came - the letter from the old man thanking him for saving his life. Had he not been forced to go the hospital that day to get his wrist treated, he would not have lived past the hour.

At the hospital, while waiting to get his wrist bandaged, the man had a stroke - quite a severe one; one that would not have been reversible had he not already been in the emergency room. Thankfully, everyone reacted instantly and he had the necessary surgery that reversed the effects of the stroke.

When the young man found this out, he realized it had all been part of a bigger plan, indeed. His faith in a more supreme power was reinforced, and he went on with his usual life knowing that you could never hurt anyone truly, unless you actually mean to...As long as you have a pure heart, everything you do will turn out right...

Someday, when the entire human race believes this, we migt actually have a chance at what the Miss World Beauty Pagent has publicized so highly - "World Peace"...

Life...

This will explain what my previous post meant :)...


PEOPLE COME INTO YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON


I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their e-mail.
Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read.
After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was
sent to you.
Here goes:

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When
you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need
you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any
wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will
say or do something to bring t he relationship to an end. Sometimes
they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must
realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work
is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has
come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or
make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They
usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real.

But only for a season.


LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must
build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is
to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to
use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that
love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant ..


Thank you for being a part of my life, Whether you were a reason, a
season or a lifetime.

People come into our lives for a reason...

Sharoreh - (for a reason) came into my life to teach me that I am attractive. And that it is indeed more important to be a nice person than to be physically beautiful...God knows she had fans everywhere! [:)]....I miss her....but her purpose had been fulfilled.

Shilpi - (for a season) came into my life to teach me to live! I have learnt enough I believe to warrant the end of that relationship. But this one was different; cos in a way it taught me my limits...[:)]....I miss her very very very much [:(]...

What is funny is that people seem to come into my life in bunches determined by the starting letter of their names! [:p]

Sam - will be there (for a lifetime)...is there to complete me and boy, am I glad! He's everything I needed and will always be (or so I believe!)...[:D]

Humiliation...

It's funny how easily we forget what being humiliated feels like... And then it happens again, and you believe you'll never forget again...

But it's like a cycle and continues to happen over and over again...

I almost felt like crying, but I think I handled it well. I was upset for a while, but within a half hour, the feeling had dulled and I was me again...full of optimism...the fact that I got some good news just before it happened had a lot to do with it though....:p...

Uncertainty

I honestly do think that all our lives have been planned in advance....well, maybe more like roughly mapped out...
Throughout my life I've had things happen to me that were not se nice at the time they happened, but then it turns that was indeed the best way...
I feel terrible about it right now and yet terribly enthusiastic about what is to come at the very same time...If this is the intended path, then who am I to fight or even question it?

Time for Change...

Sometimes when I'm alone and have had time to think, I feel bad...I feel sad...and then, I feel guilty...
I was actually trying this time...and then, when the going got tough, I bailed...

I am going to start anew. It's true what they say...It's never too late to change...:)... I will give my all. More than I've ever tried to give...

I've just been too scared - that's all...But I shouldn't be, because it's all in my head.

If you want to do something and believe you can, you most definitely can...
So, whatever you do, don't give up....the past may keep coming up and dampening your spirits, but it's all in YOUR attitude. Only YOU can choose to ignore the past, and move on...

The Big Picture...

And suddenly, it all fell into place....and the way the pieces fit each other was beautiful...they weren't all a perfect fit, they just sort of fell together...loosely ....and yet they belonged...

Life is like that...all the little pieces...they fall together eventually, and they may not all fit like a big puzzle, because we choose the pieces we pick...and sometimes, we don't pick the right ones......

But it doesn't matter, because none of it makes any sense until it's put together anyway...and this is where it gets more confusing...sometimes, even when the pieces are together, they don't make any sense...This is where I would like to impress on you the importance of looking at the big picture....no matter what picture you are looking at, there is always "the bigger picture"... :)

Exams...

Yep! It's that time of the semester again....came much too soon if you ask me....what with everything else that is going on...
I hope it works out okay...actually I know it will, so....why am I worried??? :D...
I'll be fine, I know....:)...

The first...

First day at new job....always like this. Relaxed - you feel tense cos you need to make a good impression...
Everyone's great though....very nice, extremely helpful...I hope it's always like this :p....It'll help, cos I'm not a morning person! :D....

Wait out the unexpected...

and I waited...eveyone else got tons of them, but I hadn't gotten any yet. Finally when I cudn't fake braveness anymore, I gave in and cried my heart out...
Around the same time, the next day, I got one! Within the hour, I got another! I was ecstatic at first, and then I became greedy. I wanted more...I waited and none came....
I am still waiting...